"Please Pass the rooooooolls."

If you have seen Father of the Bride Part 2 and remember when George Banks (Steve Martin) takes 2 "VASNICK" sleeping pills and falls asleep at the table while saying "Please pass the rolls..." then you can understand the sleepiness I have felt the last few days!!

This time change has "done me in". I don't know why we even do it. Half of Indianapolis and all of Arizona don't spring forward or fall back and they seem to be doing just fine.

The orange part of the map below is the part of the world that does not participate in Daylight Savings Time. In other words, places I'd rather be right now.

Danny, Jackson and I were dead to the world this morning. We still haven't recovered from the hour we lost on Sunday morning. I literally had to dress a limp noodle of a boy this morning. And Jackson was even worse! (hahaha!) I feel so tired I am brain dead. The saddest part is, as Danny pointed out, we will never get that hour back! I was reading Goldilocks and the Three Bears to my kids today and I looked at Goldlilocks asleep in Baby bear's bed and was so jealous! Sad for me, I know...

So, it is only Tuesday. I have 3 more school days until Spring Break. I hope I can make it!

NEW POSTING

OK So I know I haven't blogged in a while.. but that is not to say nothing exciting has happened... My life has changed (for the good) forever!!! Danny and I found a Dollar movie theater near our house that is actually a nice theater and I'm not disgusted to sit in a seat or touch anything. And, on Tuesdays it is 50 cents!! We take Jackson with us because I figure if he cries and we have to leave we're only out $1.00 rather than $16.00. So, now let me tell you about my Tuesday. After a long and very exhausting day, I came home with Jackson--who was teething so bad and in a rotton mood. All I wanted to do was take a nap with Jackson before the movie we were planning to go see. I walked in the house and I could smell IT right away. There was poop somewhere in the house. I knew it was Sally's brand I just had to find it. So, I put Jackson down to play and I start the hunt. I followed my nose right to the guest room--where, right in the middle of the floor was a huge pile of stinking dog sh*t. I yelled for Sally, and ran to get her. Understand that she NEVER has accidents. The only other time she ever did was when she was a puppy and Danny and I ignored her crying to go out so she peed on the floor. No poop, ever. Now I am chasing Sally around the living room and grab her by the collar to do the old "stick her nose in it" bit. Sally resists to the point of almost pulling the collar off. So I am dragging her from the living room, down the hall into the guest room. She starts growling at me. That, of course upsets Jackson, so he starts crying. I took her into the guest room and made her see it and then slapped her on her doggie backside. I yelled, "NO! BAD DOG!" and all that... After smelling two rancid dog farts after that, I put her outside for the evening. I was so fed up...I was hoping my once beloved Sally would just run away. Which, if you know me, you know that is extreme. Danny came home and--bless his heart--cleaned up the poop and plugged in the scentsy and vaccumed. We did end up going to the movies. What did we see? Oh, Marley & Me. Sally is NOWHERE near the "worst dog ever" as Marley is but just the same, I bawled my eyes out and have never felt so guilty... I really hope that Sally can forgive me. Believe me, she recieved lots of loving after that. Of course, if she poops like that again I may have her stomach removed.

WORST PAIN EVER

I know the pains of labor. I've been hospitalized for a bad kidney infection. I've had my head sliced open... NEVER in my life have I been in such excruciating pain as I was this afternoon at my first bikini waxing. This was a "gift" for Danny for Christmas. Let's just say, after months of not being able to see past my big fat pregnant belly and then really not caring about the upkeep 'down there' I'd become reminiscent of 1980s "Debbie Does Dallas"... So, I go in and make sure they know it is my first time. I'm told to strip down from the waist down and then put on the disposable panties. I kind of laughed when the preteen waxer pointed to this tiny package labeled 'Made in China'. I stripped down and opened up the package after she left. If you aren't familiar with these fine imports...it is an elastic waistband and what looks like a thin strip of toilet paper joining the front to the back. I figured out how to put the dang things on and then hopped up on the bed. She comes back in and does my eyebrows--no sweat, I've had them waxed for years. It is actually my brow waxing experience that convinced me I could go for the v-zone. So she lifts the towel to reveal the Chinese disposables and my untamed naughty area and she just says, "its a little long...would you like to clip it yourself?" I'm like Grrreeeaat... I casually say something like "Well, I didn't really know how to prepare..." Little Miss Preteen leaves (and I'm sure tells the rest of the gals at the salon what a jungle she saw 'down there'. Snip, snip, snip... When I'm through she comes back in. We talk about what specifics I want. I say, "Um pretty much everything up front--but no Brazilian."

NOTHING--I mean NOTHING--could have prepared me for what happens next...

She swipes the first bit of wax, places the strip and YANK! It literally took my breath away. I felt each individual hair ripped out of me all at once. There was so much pain, redness and blood. (Think Steve Carell getting his chest waxed in 40-Year-Old-Virgin) And then the little beeyotch kept going! I was light-headed, hands shaking and just wanted to kick her right in the stomach!! She asked me if I wanted to stop and I said no lets just get it done. I thought it would get better. Nope, it didn't! I had previously said I wanted it all, but we got to a good stopping point and I was told it was only going to get more painful. I was cursing Danny's name. She gave me a couple of lotions to put on. I glopped on about half the bottle and waddled over to my panties and jeans. It hurt to put them on but I did, walked up to the register and paid. The girl was like see you in about 3 weeks if you want to keep it up. Oh, by the way we sell "no scream cream" which numbs the area before you get waxed. I was like, hmmmm... that would have been helpful to know about when I called to make the appointment and mentioned it was my first time. Sadist beeyotch! I'm still hurting tonight. I will be going back to my pain free trusty razor from now on. For those of you who wax and say it isn't that bad, I salute you! As for me and my vag, we are out of the waxing world for good!

Overdue Room Makeover

We've been in our house now almost 4 months and I finally painted and decorated Jackson's room. He had white walls so I really didn't want to hang anything since I knew I wanted to paint. I chose "Sea to Sea" blue which I thought was appropriate for his pirate-themed room. About half way through painting, I realized why the previous owners only painted one wall in most of the rooms... The rooms are huge!! It took a whole day to paint and another day to get Danny to help me hang the pictures and shelf. So, it took me 2 days to redo a room--the same amount of time it takes a whole team of people on Trading Spaces. Not to brag too much, but I think it turned out so cute!

Jackson's First Christmas

I can't believe Christmas has come and gone...so quickly! Not that Jackson really knew what was going on but we sure enjoyed watching him open gifts (or mostly watch us open gifts FOR him) I took the cutest picture with him on Christmas morning, and as I was getting it ready to post--removing my red eyes--I accidentally DELETED it!!! I'm so upset about it. I hardly ever get cute pictures with him, since I'm the one snapping all the pictures--Danny has a ton of cute ones with him. So, the only ones I have are of me not looking at the camera. Anyway, here are some pictures from Christmas Day. If you want to see more, ask me to see the snapfish pictures.